A New Mexico P.S.

Gratitudes that need to be named as we step IN and OUT of the portal of fear

As I wrote in note to Jane Trowell, a lovely artist/educator/activist in the UK a few days ago, I will be writing more about the strange dance between the increasing chaos and terrifying actions happening here in the States (and elsewhere) and ways to manage fear, stay in the present moment, and nourish defiant joy and subversive creativity despite everything. This is something that people who have lived in traumatic conditions (hundreds of years of oppression) have shared through their music, dance, writing, rituals, and art throughout the years of persecution. We will carry on as best we can.

In the meantime, as I step into a new chapter in my home base, I wanted to offer some gratitudes (not in chronological order) for my two months of creative residency at the Santa Fe Art Institute.

First off, I want to thank all of the folks who made my time as a resident rich with insight, helping me recalibrate my nervous system on the daily. A special shout out to the warm and supportive staff of SFAI (Pauline, Tocarra, Satchiko, Joe, and Lana). Thanks to Ruth for nominating me, and to each of the residents (Doza, Vagner, John, Shelby, Zoë, Adi, Cedric, Valentine, Jeremy, Ella, Ann, Tracy, Mehregan, and Joana) who all taught me things and offered their generous hearts in so many ways.

Thank you to Stella Reed (at the Randall Davey Audubon Center in Santa Fe) for walking us through the haiku trail and sharing the beauty and visions for their center. I look forward to revisiting next spring when the story hive at the Center is inaugurated. Thank you to Pritpal for taking me there, and for your joyful presence, sharing my last afternoon in Santa Fe with me.

Thank you Carol Padberg for making a beautiful mandala last August whose remains are still visible on the eco-art walk curated by Patricia Watts, director of Ecoartspace, and for asking such generative and supportive questions at our public talk at SFAI in February. And while I’m extending my thanks to an eco-artist and an eco-artist curator, I need to acknowledge the warmth and welcome that I received from the plethora of artists and creatives who inhabit the New Mexico region or were visiting during my time there: Meridel Rubinstein, Chrissie Orr, Susan Martin, Ann Hollingsworth, Diane Reyna, Andrea Polli, Dominique Mazeaud, Katrin Spiess, Ruth Wallen, Peggy Diggs, Francis Whitehead, and Arlene Goldbard.

Thank you to Tressa Berman for sharing time with me over the past two months, bringing me to a meditation session (in the tradition of the Rochester Zen Center, my late husband’s first Buddhist home) at Mountain Cloud in Santa Fe. Thank you for sharing the art that you’ve been curating in your apartment and your wonderful research & book, “No Deal! Indigenous Arts and the Politics of Possession.”

Thank you to Roshi Joan Halifax, the Abbott of the Upaya Zen Center, for welcoming Bob’s composted soil in the newly planted memorial garden and spending some private time with me. Thank you to the Texas Red Oak tree that will hopefully be nourished by Bob’s soil. And thank you to all the residents, monks and nuns, chaplains and teachers who make Upaya a very welcoming spiritual center.

Thank you to Upaya’s generous community sits, dharma talks, and tasty meals on Wednesday nights.

Thank you to the amazing skies & clouds of New Mexico. Whenever the shocking news threatened to collapse me emotionally, pushing me into PTSD land, I just needed to look up.

Thank you to the wonderful collaborative spirit of my fellow residents at the Santa Fe Art Institute this past month as we worked on the “Communitree.” Left to right (graphic narrative artist, John; poet and budding visual artist, Zoë; leather tanner, jeweler, and painter, Shelby; and zine maker, mixed media and video artist, Cedric).

Collaborating in the courtyard: L to R: John, Vagner, Shelby, Adi, and Zoë.

Thank you to the marvelous Museum of International Folk Art for displaying the creative wealth of incarcerated people. Abolish all prisons!

Thank you to Dominique Mazeaud for sharing your beautiful arranged collections of toddler’s shoes and the vibrant inventory of nature’s magic as well as your rituals as a “heartist” filled with a deep, life-long passion for peace and the natural world. The hike up the Tesuque creek was delightful, especially since everything was newly blooming and the bees were busy pollinating.

Thank you to SFAI for giving me the space to experiment with new work and revise my new book’s manuscript.

Thank you to Doza, for your special skills as a welcome wagon to Monday Queer Nights at La Reina, and all things cool and fun in Santa Fe. You have special gifts as a facilitator, videographer, collector of bones, and so much more. I hope your next iteration in New Mexico ranch land will be an amazing creative adventure.

Thank you to the beautiful and joyful, Tocarra, whose energy as the new director felt like a warm balm for the staff and the residents.

Thank you to my new friend, Mariana, who gifted me with many laughs and uplifting and inspiring conversations. Her new book on Hunger, is not to be missed. She will be doing a book tour in Australia soon, so my writer friends “down under” may want to look for her in Melbourne, Perth, and elsewhere. Mariana gifted me with the “bee” hat, and many lovely outings, hikes, and meals. She is going to be an awesome chaplain via the program at Upaya Zen Center and her handmade quilts rock big time.

Petroglyphs in Albuquerque

Speaking of rocks, I need to make a big shout out to the rock ancestors for keeping me on the trail during my final adventure hiking in the unseasonable heat (82F). I was close to fainting by the end of the trail, despite bringing enough water and wearing a hat, I was not prepared for the kind of endurance required for a midday hike at 5000+ elevation. Praying to the local ancestors during the last mile and counting my steps helped me get to the car and another bottle of water. No more solo hiking in desert heat for this woman.

A special final thank you to Elsa Menendez, the Deputy Director of Arts & Culture in the City of Albuquerque, for picking me up at the Albuquerque airport at the beginning of my trip and hosting me like a queen at the end of my New Mexico sojourn. Elsa and I met 9 years ago at the Bioneers’ Cultivating Women’s Leadership Program where she was a facilitator.

And another special thank you to Leslie Pearlman & family who have hosted me for a day or two almost every time I’ve visited Santa Fe (4 times since 1986). Leslie was one of my closest friends in high school and has lived in Santa Fe over 4 decades.

My Substacking may slow down a bit this month as I begin the final edit of my book’s manuscript, get involved with more local actions, and start getting the garden ready for planting. Thank you for your patience, as always.